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I have two kinds of posts. 

One is an answer to someone's specific question.  This started because my students and clients ask great questions that have me find answers I never could have found otherwise. If you have a question you want answered, text me. I will do my best to answer every ask. 

The other is more of a journal, me sharing my inner world and work, the experiences, and people that matter to me. The last few years I've started my journal entries with "Dearest love," It makes them feel like prayers, like I am writing to God or God is writing to me. These are the love letters. I share them here to be seen and known in the hope that access to my world makes your world richer. 

Lillian Bali Beach_edited.jpg


Dearest Loves,

Today was epically beautiful. A perfect winter Sunday in Texas.

We found a spring and all drank from it. In some places in swirled up through the sand. in others it seeped through slimy sludge, in others, it pumped up into clear pools. Then all the seeping and portals and pumped water flowed down into a delta that met the river. Throughout the delta, there were gorgeous greens and flowers. Maybe there weren't flowers but it felt flowery. We ate the greens and they were buttery and bitter and delicious.

On drinking live water and eating unknown plants...

I grew up drinking from a creek on a cattle ranch. I'm sure I was taught not to but I did it anyway and never got sick. I imagine this gave me a sturdy stomach but also, I'm a water witch. I have the capacity to find clean water if there is clean water to be had. AND I think that all of our body's have the yes no indicator on medicine versus poison if you know how to listen. When you know a few edible plants and you know some poisonous ones you get a feel for it. Of course, there are look-alikes ... But really all of this is defensiveness and trying to prove something or win an argument with an imaginary person who is judging me foolish... I probably am foolish in this and many other regards.

What I actually feel is that I love drinking water from a spring and I love eating plants growing wild just because they look tasty and I have a deep trust in my body and I have a position on health and death that is more than I'm going to get into here, but it has me unafraid. Anyways, it was lovely and I felt enlivened and blessed by the place, the sacrament, and the communion.

I met a beautiful beautiful ram that came over and nuzzled my hand. He smelled like musk and milk. The best I can tell it was an Ibex hybrid. I tried to research this beautiful animal and was only able to learn that people pay lots of money to kill them. This one probably would have let me slit its throat if I'd had a snack. Oh, trophy hunting... pretty much the opposite of drinking from the spring.

We clamored over rocks, that had more shades of grey and textures than I can even register in my sight. They were like smooth bones and crystals and waves. There were whites that were so white and blacks so black and sheens that seemed almost iridescent. The water skated over them like icing on a cake or the crisp of creme bru le. It carved itself into channels. It collected in deep and wide green pools.

It was so beautiful that I didn't think for about 2 hours straight. Nature brain is what I'm really looking for in all my spiritual practice, personal development, brain hacking, emotional work. I really just like feeling how I feel a couple of hours into looking at trees and running water and having the sun on my skin.

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