You go to a party -  You eat too much of foods that make you fat, tired and sick  -  You come home feeling shitty – You swear to never do it again – You go to the next party – You eat too much of the foods that make you fat, tired and sick…

Why?.. and more importantly, how can we stop the madness?

Naturally, I googled it. “eating healthy for the holidays”. I read 7 different articles on how to solve this problem. And while I think this one had some particularly helpful tips http://dottie1.hubpages.com/hub/A-Guide-to-Healthy-Eating-During-the-Holidays, they all pretty much said the same thing.

1. Eat less fat and sugar.

2. Eat more fruits and veggies

3. Exercise more.

Was any of that a revelation for you? Of course not. The problem is absolutely not that you don’t know what to do. You know how to eat but you don’t. According to Weight Watchers the average American gains around 7-10 lbs between thanksgiving and new years! And that is not because of ignorance.

So why is it?

A look at willpower.

Relying on willpower sucks, and therefore it usually doesn’t work. Practicing willpower is like giving one half of yourself the job of controlling the other half. The problem of course is that you are really just one person, and one person trying to move in two opposite direction just stays in the same spot. Its an exhausting and hopeless battle.

Mark Tyrrell from Uncommon Help has a great article on building your willpower muscle: http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/no-willpower/.

He looks at willpower as a limited resource and the only way to effectively use it is to pick your battles. So when you think of the endless line of sweets and treats that come your way during the holidays its easy to see how you actually run out of willpower.

Stop being a Pushmepullyou (Dr. Doolittle reference if you grew up on Mars)

Instead of giving part of you the unhappy job of disciplinarian, while you your other half acts like a bratty sugar crazed child – let’s get all of you on the same page. Why would you eat food that makes you sick and unhappy in the long run?

1. It solves an emotional need.

2. It solves a social need.

3. You just aren’t paying attention.

#1 and 2 are completely valid needs and there is no getting rid of them. Food does provide temporary solution for these basic needs by providing a few moments of emotional satisfaction and a feeling of connection between you and all the other eaters.  Instead of trying to hold yourself back from meeting these needs with food, you have to meet these needs in other ways. There are things you can do to address your emotional and social needs just as quick and delightfully as food does!

#3, not paying attention, is just a crazy human problem.  For some reason we pretty much all have a really hard time being present. I have some really easy to use techniques for bringing you back to the moment – and to the reality that no, you don’t want another piece of pumpkin pie.

Problem 1: Emotional Eating

Eating is suppose to be emotional.

When eating is pleasurable it releases endorphins that relax you and and make it easier to digest…  but the awesome feelings that you get from eating cake can actually inhibit your bodies ability to naturally produce that high! This article on 3fatchicks.com equates this to a kind of dependency or addiction to these foods.

The solution is to care for your emotional well being in other ways.

Solution 1: Go on a stress diet.

Instead of creating strategies for limiting your fat and sugar intake create strategies for de-stressing your life. Look at that holiday to do list and party schedule… what can you choose to leave undone? Probably, nothing on that list is life or death but stress could be.  According to American Institute of Stress  there is tons of evidence for stress being a major contributor to illness like cancer and heart disease, not to mention weight gain.

- Make a not-gonna-do-it list. How can you simplify? How can you weed your “obligations” down to the bare minimum? Just keep the joyful tasks! Fuck buying a fruit cake for every person you know. Think quality over quantity. Do less with more heart, love , gratitude and generosity.

- Stay far away from the crazy shopping scenes! Plan ahead, and prioritize your sanity over deals.

- That goes for high tension family vibes, too. Use the rest of the year to work on your family issues and prioritize peace for the family dinners! Your digestive system will thank you!

- Pick the events that you really WANT to go to. Your time, health and happiness is more valuable than any approval or whatever for attending lame parties out of obligation.

Solution 2: Increase your pleasure intake.

Man, I love pleasure… Pleasure creates the opposite physiological response to stress. Chris Kresser L. Ac says pleasure is good for you primarily because of its affect on your immune system. You can read all about that here:  http://chriskresser.com/pleasure-is-good-for-you.

Pleasure stimulates the parasympathetic nervous response – decrease in blood pressure, slows heart rate and most importantly …. IMPROVES DIGESTION. That means you actually process your food properly!

Pleasure is an actual need. You will try and satisfy that need with food if you don’t keep your pleasure tank full.

Here are just a few ideas to fill up on pleasure!

- Make the not so joyful tasks a delight. Find an errand buddy, make a soundtrack or sing your own soundtrack. Joy is an inside job not about the surroundings!

- Stillness, hot baths, read a book. Take care of yourself and decompress. Here is a sweet meditation to fill your heart:

(lots more on healthy, loving and pleasurable eating habits from Jena @ pleasurableweightloss.com )

- Cozy family time. Who do you want to see? Make time for them. Instead of party hopping just hang out all day with your besties.

- Make more LOVE. Sex makes lots of endorphins!

Problem 2: Social Eating

Eating is suppose to be a social event. We are the only animal that prepares its food so from start to finish. It’s part of the culture of being human, especially this time of year. Sharing good food is important!

The problem is that our social situations often support crappy food choices. To navigate these situations lets look at the main problems that come up when you don’t want to eat what everyone else is eating.

Embarrassment

Whether you are actually on a diet or just don’t want to have a food hangover, it can trigger some shame to say you are watching what you eat. We all want to appear super confident, and easy going.

Solution: Come from Self Love

If you are confident, that will show up. Being diet conscious can come from a place of insecurity and shame or it can come from a place of valuing your body and showing yourself respect. Where are you coming from?

Not feeling the love? Check this out: http://howdoiloveme.com/the-book

and the queen of self love: http://daretobeme.com

Social Anxiety

We all know that alcohol is a social lubricant but the buffet table can also provide a safe haven when you are feeling awkward. It makes you look busy and gives you something to talk about.  But do you really need to be reliving middle school dance emotions at a diner party?

Solution: Compassion and Connection

Give yourself compassion and then get over it. Everything good in your life comes from connection so get out there and connect. There are tons of books out there to help you rock your social skills Here are a few:

All good books, but really the bottom line is to remember they are fellow humans each with their own fears, and hopes and experiences. Get curious about what life is like for them and let that move you away from the hor d’oeuvres.

Being Polite

My uncle prepares for Thanksgiving over the course of a week and creates a masterpiece that could compete with the best kitchen’s on the planet. I will tell you right now, nothing that is served would make the cut for dinner at home. Don’t get me wrong it is amazingly delicious but not organic or humanely raised, there’s processed sugar, there’s dairy, there’s wheat flour, and again its delicious.

It can be really difficult to take care of your own needs when the main event is someone’s masterpiece meal.

Solution: Graciousness

Eat it. Say thank you! Dote on every smell and color. Imagine the wonderful energy all that sugar is going to give you.  A couple of meals a year isn’t gonna make or break your health. And stop when your full (more on that with problem 3!)

or

Don’t eat it and say that you have a lot of allergies or food sensitivities (does it make you feel sick?). That you just came for the amazing company.

Remember no one can force you to do anything. It is your choice so choose with intention. I am going to eat this food and let it be nourishing and drink a glass of green juice when I get home or I am not going to eat this food but I will make sure that the hostess feels honored and appreciated.

Side Note: Thanksgiving and Christmas I choose to eat it.  I remember the joyful experience of sharing delicious food all year and the minor yuck feeling only lasts a few hours.

Problem 3: Unconscious eating.

This is not just the holidays, this is every moment of your life. Are you present? Would you notice if your guts split open with too much stuffing or if the sugar rush gave you a heart attack? Eating for pleasure isn’t bad, its GOOD. But do you stop eating when it stops being pleasurable?

Alcohol is a really great way to stay far away from the present moment. Not only is it poisonous to your body but it removes your self protection superpowers, letting in unhealthy people, parasitic energies, and dangerous situations – plus its so unattractive! Terri Cole has some helpful things to notice with your own alcohol consumption. http://terricole.com/2011/11/21/holiday-drinking-merry-or-messy/

Solution:

Practice presence. FYI, I stole simple exercise from Josh Pais’ Committed Impulses class. If you want the real deal its all here: http://committedimpulse.com

1. Breathe!

2. Feel the Sensation in your body.

3. See what is in front of you.

4. When you catch yourself drifting out of the present moment declare “I’m back!”

…and lay off the booze!

Pleasure eating

Super Important note about healthy eating – It isn’t about living off of rice cakes, its about eating foods that feel good on every level. Foods that make you feel good emotionally, physically and yes, spiritually too!

Photo Creds: Fortyseven, enric archivell, mellyjean, mokolabs, denipet, sbisson, Christine Arylo, My Cousin Zach, Stephen Edgar -Netweb

What should you do now?

Share this article on twitter and facebook!

Lovingly