I want to start off by saying, this was crushing. I cried, re-evaluated, shamed myself, blamed them, felt like a fraud, and went over everything I should have done and everything I would never do again. I offer more in this program than any other. The participants get sessions with me whenever they want and they get trained by some of my teachers. I feel this incredible commitment to these people and I love them. It is also very intensive opportunity to uproot your demons and play the role of miracle worker in others lives. My initial reaction was ego hurt, “they don’t like me”. Then I understood… but I will come back to that.
There are lessons for me and lessons for you as well.
I know that many of you are embarking (or dreaming about embarking) on a new path. You are starting a business or changing careers or getting involved in something or just trying to live more consciounsously. If this had happened to me when I first started out I probably would have quit then and there. I and so many people would have missed out.
There are lessons for me and lessons for you as well.
1. You never know what you’re doing.
I mean this on multiple levels. Expertise means continuing to grow and evolve. There will never be a point where I hear a complaint from a client or my husband or a friend and say, “no, I know what I am talking about, you’re wrong”. Not even after 50 years and accolades and bestselling books.
And you don’t get to know the outcome of your actions. I send a heart felt email reaching out to my client offering help from what I guessed she was struggling with and she responded with don’t ever talk to me again. Does that mean I shouldn’t have sent the email? Of course not.
Don’t wait until you “KNOW” what you are doing. Just be capable of doing it well and with love.
2. Being well informed, being honest, being humble and always coming from Love, is the antidote.
While you may never know what you are doing it is your responsibility to always be striving for mastery. This is not just for everyone else involved it is for your own fulfillment. Your integrity does not hinge upon you forcing specific outcomes, but by bringing forth your absolute best and offering it as a loving gift.
Humility is not lowering yourself but having a vulnerable heart that will listen to the impact of you your actions. This is how our intuition evolves, we feel and we gather information and we feel more. When we do this with mindfulness i.e. from a spiritual center we fine tune our intuition.
3. People will make up shit in their head
1 month into working with one of my clients she was crying, saying I was an angel and an answer to her prayers. The next month she said I was a fraud and the other participants were drinking my cool aide. I am not either of those things.
The biggest mistake that I know I made in this program is giving people too much time alone to dig in their stuff. When we are left alone in our heads without a solid spiritual ground to stand on our stories get out of control.
It is important to see this in others so that we don’t take it personally. As soon as we take it personally we are no longer coming from love but protecting ourselves.
It is also important to see this in ourselves when we feel at our most upset it is almost always because of a story we have made up in our heads about what happened.
Want to know more about that? Click here:
4. Don’t sulk
I would really like to sulk. I would really, really like to bury my head in shame for a couple of months but I have 75,000 people on my email list who are expecting me to respond to their questions and post blogs. I have 10 other clients to take care of, I’m developing a new program, not to mention twin boys and a garden.
When something goes wrong, someone talks smack, or lets you down, or drops out of your program, it may pull focus for a few minutes, it may feel like the main event of your life but let’s get real. You and I are so incredibly blessed.
5. Take responsibility for everything.
Now this is not the same as taking blame for everything. Taking responsibility is looking at yourself as a creative force in your life. This is empowering rather than shaming. It sets you up to look at any circumstance as an opportunity to grow and treat everyone else with compassion.
In my situation, I could act like a victim and say that some people just have too many issues and they broke their commitment to the group and to me. I could say it was all of their fault.
I could also feel ashamed of myself and think that I shouldn’t be doing what I am doing. I failed and its no wonder they hate me so much.
Neither of these is accurate or helpful. Instead, I know that I attracted these clients, I can see where I could have done more in the interview process. I can see that accepting these clients meant that I would need to give them special attention, which I did not give. I can also see that I need to be clearer about the intensity of the program and the level of commitment necessary.
Want to read more about taking responsibility for everything? Click here
To be honest I am still dealing with this. I have never experienced anything like it, my clients love me and even when they don’t they stay with it long enough to get the value and part with gratitude and respect. So I will do what I do when I am dealing with things. I will meditate, spend time outside, practice EFT, talk to my mentor, pray, brainstorm and move with evermore love, intentionality and integrity.