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Lillian Eve Moore

I did my first dry fast a few days ago, no food or water for 36 hours …

I am generally on, what I like to call “the pleasure diet”. I eat whatever is pleasurable to me. That means it feels good physically, emotionally, spiritually and it means that If I crave something I eat it. Typically, this diet is perfect for me.

If I am outside a lot, singing, meditating and present with my kiddos, my cravings are like a finely tuned detector, guiding me to exactly what my body needs. I eat a wide variety of plants, some cooked, some raw and the occasional consciously cared for animal.

This way of eating is pretty much how I do everything else. Its how I plan my schedule, how I spend my money, how I date.  And its great.

Accept that sometimes I am out of balance and I crave a donut and there is something about eating a donut that makes me want to eat some bacon, and brownies, and pasta and cheese. Now apply this to my whole life…

My entire guidance system off oriented towards empty calories, empty purchases, empty sex, and I wake up and can’t figure out why I feel so lousy.

Following pleasure is like following breadcrumbs. Each step might feel rewarding until you look up and realize you are way way of course.

Enter the fast. Out of absolutely nothing, what then? I find that my mind and body and spirit begin to clarify into such a precious state my standards are immediately raised. My desires recalibrate and I know what will be more deeply fulfilling and satisfying.

This is the fast I just did:

The feeling is similar to free diving, where you hold your breath for long minutes while you dive deep. The thrill and joy of being down there is only passed by the thrill and joy of breathing again. After diving, everything seems brighter and sweeter. Like cutting off all the dependancies to the outside world and diving deep, allows you to immerse more capable of connecting.

Lots of Love and happy fasting!


If your mood (and with it, your perspective) stays consistently joyful, you can change everything else in your life.

We act as if it is our external circumstances that give us the internal experiences. In actuality, our life will always reflect our internal world back to us; a joyful disposition will bring you a life which supports that joy.

However, the things in your life don’t always change instantaneously; the opinions and molecules have to shift, and that can take time. It will happen, but it can take time.

Going from miserable to joyful may feel like you are having to drag your life with you. Your finances, your home, your relationships, your work: all may seem like they are holding you back. You have this new joyful disposition, and you’ve got this life you made when you were miserable that keeps reminding you to be miserable!

This is when it is such a good idea to go for something new

It’s not necessary to cut ties, quit, or move, but there is such power in being in a new place, talking with a new friend, having a conversation you just couldn’t have when you’re miserable with someone you wouldn’t have met.

try a new coffee shop, meet someone new

try a new coffee shop, meet someone new

Here is a list of some ideas to help inspire you:

Try a new…

  • coffee shop
  • route home (using public transportation)
  • class
  • volunteer project
  • outfit
  • park
  • spiritual practice
  • artist to listen to
  • and remember to look up, make eye contact, smile, and (yes!), say “hi”

This is creating life right now, where you are, in your joy.


After I moved back from New York, traumatized, broken, depleted, and pregnant with my two little darlings, I didn’t have the juice to heal myself or even ask for help. New York was real hard on me. I was under constant stress to cover rent in a new city, when covering rent for me meant helping heal people’s traumas. Then I commuted home through deep poverty and sexual harassment.

When I got back to Austin, all I could do was sit on the couch and eat grapefruit. So, that’s what I did.

I would lay in my bed and stare at the leaves and branches out my window (in New York my bedroom window opened to a wall. Seriously.)

I would lay on the ground in my backyard.

Sometimes I would muster enough strength to get out of my safe little bubble, drive two miles, and plop the 3 of us into the Springs.

That is all I did and I healed. I started to feel happy again. I started to want to get off the couch. I started to want to see people. I started to want to do yoga and meditate and be grateful.

It feels like a miracle, but it just goes to show that if you can manage to get yourself out of harm’s way and in the way of the natural world, the wind and rivers and leaves will nourish you and make you well again.

Lily_Email_FeatherSmallYou don’t even have to ask for help. It is given.


Dearest Heart,

Sometimes, I wish you weren’t so wild. Sometimes, I wish you weren’t so hungry always wanting things. Sometimes, it seems like it would be better if we just parted ways and I could just sleep. Sometimes, I feel like I am chasing after you saying, “Hey, wrong way!”


But, then I find that you have led me to a new beach, into motherhood, or out of a burning building. I look up dizzy from the ride and find that my career has sprouted wings and is taking me further than I thought possible.


I’m starting to think that maybe you’re wise and I should listen to you. Maybe the ride only seems so bumpy when I fight you and ignore you. Ideally, I would like to be teammates. I would like to learn to sit in silence and listen as you sing or scream.


Let’s say mind and heart get married. As mind, I would want to provide for you and protect you and always give you shelter and hopefully, a direction for your inspiration.  As heart, I would want to give you nourishment, pleasure, and passion; and hopefully,

Letting the sun shine on your face is self love

inspiration for your direction.
Mmmm… the beginning of a beautiful relationship.


It’s hard, like weights on your ankles. You think, “God, I’m going through this again?! Why the same old lesson?!”

Or, “Maybe it’s a rut… Where has the desire to live gone? How can you put one foot in front of the other?”

But, you keep putting in the effort. You try to take care of yourself. Maybe go for a walk. Take that supplement. Drink the green juice. Do the exercise that Lillian talked about in that one blog…

It doesn’t seem to be helping.

Then it seems like out of nowhere you feel better. You notice, “Wow, I really do feel a lot better when I go for a walk…”

Here is why:

When you are low struggling to get to a baseline of good feeling, it all feels bad. Better than terrible, doesn’t feel much better, if it’s still bad.

It’s like being underwater. Whether, you are 50 feet down or 2, you still can’t breath.

Imagine if at 50 feet down you kicked once or twice then said, “I still can’t breath, this isn’t working.”

flowerbathIf you are that low, keep taking care of yourself soon you’ll surface and all that strength and endurance it took to get to OK, will send you flying to Joyful.


The subway wishing well series:

This is an article I wrote during one of the most difficult times of my life. I have been sharing recently about my growth and changes, in relationship to wealth. These articles were written when I was the poorest, in every way that I have been. They are equal parts escape and venting. I didn’t publish them in my coaching blog because I was ashamed of how cynical and unproductive they were. Now I know the story has a happy ending and I want you to know if you feel like cynical now there is hope. These were written in 2010.

There are so many ways to live.

As a child I lived on limitless land. Hopping fences and stealing horses, pretending I was exploring uncharted territories while avoiding being seen by the houses scattered through the Texas hill country. My room was a fairy tale. I lived with my feet trudging through the mud of the Gulf of Mexico and violently attacked by the west Texas cactus and bramble.

I have lived with friends in houses with potlucks and parties. I lived with other families learning how they love eachother and drive eachother nuts. I have been adopted into new families, collecting tribes and communities as I go.

I have lived alone in tiny apartments. I have lived alone in a beautiful house over looking the pacific ocean and waipio valley. I would dream every night of loved ones visiting me there and wake up to being alone again. I have lived out of my backpack sleeping in hammocks in Mexico, bungalows in Thailand, under tarps in Europe, in caves in Hawaii. I have lived out of my car.

Throughout high school I would leave for school Friday morning and not come home until Sunday night exhausted from playing, making love, and falling deeper in love with my friends. I have lived with lovers, in the ocean, in homes, with parents, on couches.

Now I live in an apartment on the south east corner of prospect park in Brooklyn. There are people living piled on top of me and piled under me. I hear the sounds of their children’s feet and their fights. I paint trees on the walls and plant things in soil in tiny cups hoping that they will grow in this hostile environment. This whole city feels like a slum, segregating the humans from the rest of the natural world isolating the damage to one pile of refuse. It seems like a good idea for the planet minimizing the damage but a really bad idea for the humans. I think there are better ways to live.


It’s morning and I’m really on it about something. Every time I’m not forced to think about something else, I am ranting about it in my head. I’m tempted to tell you what it’s about so I can rant to you too and get you all on my side… But that’s abuse of power and not helpful to anyone.

It’s really got it me and I can feel myself spinning my wheels only digging myself in deeper, but I really want to feel better. Well, what I really want is the circumstances to magically change and make me feel better but it just don’t work that way right?

So, I am trying to focus on something else. It’s a nice day, My hair is really soft, how about the luxurious joy of swimming in cold water? F*&^ing bulls*&^!!!

Now it’s afternoon and I have made no progress. Mad as ever. Then I have this great idea! People! Other people… having good conversations, being nice, talking about stuff they like so I go find friends. I want to feel better; not rant. So, I bite my tongue but then I can’t anymore and it’s coming out in a torrent.

It’s not pretty. Wait a second… this feels good!

New person, I do it again a little lighter. Still feels good. Third person I crack anger crumbles to tears. The real deal vulnerability. Some compassion for myself.

It’s night, I feel better. Tired something like peaceful, maybe a touch annoyed, a swirl disappointment. Progress.

Life is miraculousThe takeaway. Sometimes the only way to the other side is through the mucky muck. The simple and genuine desire to feel better, the good wish for yourself is magic. It is like a guiding star.

When you have hitched your happiness to a specific circumstance and it just ain’t gonna happen resignation can be a stepping stone to acceptance. Acceptance can be a stepping stone to gratitude and gratitude is the fuel of creation. Gratitude will be the birth of your invincible happiness.

Whatever it is may still have its grip on you.

You may still be invested in that job or aching for that person or feeling like you have missed your dream. But you are releasing your grip. And when you do that there is movement. The natural condition of the Universe is change. When you resign, you may still feel all of your attachments but you’ve stopped being attached to being attached.
There are two sides to resignation and it depends on which direction you face, how you move from resignation. If you are still facing the things that you have left behind you will just cultivate an emptiness. If you face forward towards your life you experience freedom.
In this state your body can start moving forward and taking actions to leave the old behind. There is a little bit of breathing room in your feelings, but if you allow your past to haunt you a leaking out the vital energy your new life needs. If however, you move your mind and heart with your body, all the energy you had sunk in a future that didn’t come to pass comes back to you.
The happiness you hitched to specific circumstances returns to you, free and unconditional.

I remember when I first started my desperate climb out of depression and anxiety, I felt terrified and overwhelmed, the way I am sure many children do in their first biblical lessons. All the things that we are suppose to do, all the things we aren’t supposed to do, and all the ways we will suffer and be punished if we don’t abide, are enough to make anyone crazy.

I learned how diet affected emotions, yoga practices, eco-psychology, healing techniques, specific visualization done with specific simultaneous breathing exercises. There is is the herb to use only under a particular moon and just so many freaking rules!

What makes it worse is when we get the benefit of being so well behaved. I hear it from nutrition junkies all the time, “I need to get back into (insert wacko diet of choice), I felt so good and then I started eating (gluten, dairy, spinach, whatever) again. Then comes the guilt. We are sick because we aren’t doing it right.

Its the same with religion. We experience grace, oneness, a quiet mind and we think that we earned it with righteousness and the right mantra. In actuality, goodness comes to you as a part of the natural design through whatever means you allow it to.

I am not saying that the diet and the mantra aren’t working. If they are, right on, keep it up! but grace, healing, peace doesn’t come because you earned it, through doing the right thing. It is always present and we receive it into our hearts anytime we are willing or not paying enough attention to be unwilling. And bless our little hearts, sometimes we do need complicated practices and strenuous spiritual work, in order to be willing.

That being said we do have a basic design, and when you work with it, you tend to be healthier in mind body and spirit. Here is my personal dogma:

Do more…

Veggie eating and drinking.

Hanging out outside.

Moving your body.

Being grateful.

Nice things for people (yourself included)


Do less:

Staring at screens.

Consuming things that have wrapping.



About a year ago I was reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s, May Cause Miracles, and one of her exercises that she offers is to watch your judgments without doing anything about them. Just notice the judgments that you have about the people that you interact with. How you make people greater or lesser than you. This exercise was pretty horrific for me because when I really watched my thoughts I realized I had a lot of racist, bigoted shit running through my mind. When I would see an older Mexican man, before I had any real human awareness of him, I would have a thought “dirty Mexican”. It was really painful to see the side of myself and it’s really uncomfortable to admit it now. But I think that this is how racism lives and breathes and as spiritual aspirants it is our responsibility to clean up our harmful untrue thoughts.

Some of these thoughts came from personal experience. I was molested on the streets when I was traveling in Mexico by an old man. When I was living in Brooklyn I was escorted home regularly by Jamaican men asking me if my boyfriend sexually satisfied me. But I also grew up watching Cops, where the good white guys arrested a handful of bad black guys every week. I went to a mostly white school, in a mostly white neighborhood so my experiences were really limited. It is because of this that I understand why people get offended by the slogan Black Lives Matter. Fortunately, I have questioned my own judgements against a larger belief. I truly do believe that all people regardless of race have the same goodness within them. I truly believe that all lives matter.

Of course all lives matter and if all lives were treated as if they mattered there would be no need for any slogan. To me it’s understandable that most white people can’t see that black people’s lives are systematically disregarded and attacked.

We can’t see our privilege  because we’re so rarely outside of it. When I’m driving in my car I can’t see that the bus has a higher percentage of people of color and handicap able people.  When I’m shopping at my grocery store in my white upper-middle-class neighborhood I can’t see that the neighborhood grocery store across town that doesn’t have any produce. I can’t see the difference between how a cop speaks to me when they pull me over and how he speaks to a young black man. These are minute examples of an entire world of imbalance. Part of privilege is not being able to see what other people are enduring and the slogan Black Lives Matter is not negating that all lives matter but to bring attention to the fact that not all lives are being treated as if they matter. Hopefully when we see those words it inspires us to look at the reality outside of our privilege and to face the unrighteous division of quality of life.

try a new coffee shop, meet someone new

Another aspect of this blind privilege is the privilege not see how our thoughts and actions play a role in the continuation of racism. It’s easy to say that racism is institutionalized and so we don’t have an active role in improving the lives of black people. But when you don’t know your own thoughts about it, you don’t know how you’re choices are infused with those programmed lies. For example you don’t notice how you prefer the white salesperson the over the black or how you interpret and discount your students perspective because of their skin color.

These fears and prejudices show up in a million ways. And while the prejudice is built into every economic, social and governmental system that we have all of those systems are designed and maintained by us individuals. Whether we like it or not the institutions are not some man in the sky pulling strings it is our collective choices it is our collective beliefs.

This is not just a in the political conversation and it’s not even just a social justice conversation it is really a conversation about personal development and self-awareness. As we are trying to become more in tune people more compassionate more loving human beings, we can’t step over the impact that we’re having on other people’s lives.

In the same way that we practice thinking kindly about ourselves and positively about our lives. We should practice shining that same light on everyone we meet. Especially where we are predisposed to fear and misinformation. This is responsibility is two-fold. It is internal, being brave enough to face our own ugly racist thought habits. It is also external, being compassionate enough to look with care and a desire to help at the problems that black people face as if they are our own.

A spiritual path is nothing if not to become a more loving human being.